Undefeatable
AKA: Bloody Mary Killer
1993
Director: Godfrey Ho (credited as Godfrey Hall)
Stars: Cynthia Rothrock, Don Niam, John Miller, Donna Jason, Emilie Davazac, Hang Yip Kim, Gerald Klein
Someone please make the pain stop. Why I end up watching this trash I'll never know, but Godfrey Ho's movies are so horrible, it becomes a sick complusion to finish watching one once you've started, much like viewing accident footage -- you know you shouldn't be watching, but you do so anyway. Undefeatable is no exception; it's a pretty piss-poor movie in every way, but somehow it manages to hold your attention, like a really beautiful woman with a missing tooth.
The film (which just happens to use a lot of the same cast and crew from Ho's previous piece of junk, Honor and Glory -- they probably shot this piece of crap during lunch breaks on that set) has a very evil martial arts fighter called Stingray (played by Don Niam; you know he's evil because he has red streaks in his Joey Buttafuco-esque mullet) who beats his wife one too many times, so she leaves him. This pisses mulletboy off and he sets off for revenge, killing off any woman he sees that looks like the ex. It just so happens that every woman is accompanied by a top martial artist, and so the world's dumbest cop (John Miller) and his ambiguously gay sidekick (Gerald Klein) begin interviewing underground fighters. They, of course, eventually come across our girl Cynthia (who doesn't look good at all in this movie, despite some strange hairstyle changes that occur in seemingly every scene). She doesn't want to help until her sister is killed by the mullet maniac, and then it's ass-whoopin' time.
Undefeatable is good for a few (unintentional) chuckles, but that's about it. The film looks like it was shot in exchange for a White Castle "Crave Case" (about $15 if you're keeping track at home). The acting is some of the worst -- and I mean the worst -- I have seen outside of an Andy Warhol movie. Hopefully, someone revoked John Miller's SAG card after this film, or at least gave him a swift kick to the groin. He makes Michael Wong look like Robert f'n DeNiro. And as for the action? Don't get me started. This junk makes "Walker, Texas Ranger" look fast-paced by comparison. The most fun thing about watching the action scenes is seeing when Cynthia is doubled by some guy in a wig.
I really can't recommend Undefeatable at all, except as late-night cable insomnia fodder. Even after a few beers, it was still painful to watch. I had a decent time making fun of the movie, but that can only go so far. When it comes down to it, this is just a bad film. Undefeatable is a good reminder as to why Godfrey Ho should never make a movie again, if only to spare future generations the torture of sitting through this kind of rubbish.
RATING: 3
Note: movie-recycler Godfrey Ho later re-tooled the movie and released it in Asia under the name Bloody Mary Killer. Supposedly, it is a little better than Undefeatable because of the extra boobs and blood, but I'm not willing to sit through this dreck again to find out.