American Ninja

1985

Director: Sam Firstenberg
Action director: Steven Lambert
Producers: Yoram Globus, Menahem Golan
Writers: Paul De Mielche, James Silke
Cinematography: Hanania Baer
Music: Michael Linn
Editing: Michael Duthie
Stars: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson, Guich Koock, John Fujioka, Don Stewart, John LaMotta, Tadashi Yamashita, Richard Norton

Rated R for violence and language

Ah, yes, American Ninja. If ever there was a defining film for 80's B-movie cheese, this would be it. Coming from the low-budget "dream team" of Menahem Golan, Yoram Globus, and Cannon Films, American Ninja proved to be a surprise hit back in 1985 and remains a staple of video stores and late-night cable viewing to this day. Is it dopey? Yes. Is it cliched? Yes. Is the acting god-awful? Hell yes. But you know what? It's still a pretty fun movie.

In the movie, B-movie royalty Michael Dudikoff plays Joe (yes, just Joe), a private in the US army serving in some unspecified country. The film was shot in the Philippines, but I think it's supposed to be set in South America -- trying to make logical sense out of anything in this movie is an exercise in futility and will make your head explode. At any rate, Joe has a mysterious past which no one (including Joe) knows anything about, but it's clear that he knows how to kick ass, a talent which he puts to good use as he tries to stop an evil arms smuggler.

Along the way, Joe acquires a wise old sifu that teaches him ninja magic, a hot girl that is always getting in trouble and needing to be saved, and a black dude for a sidekick that, of course, also knows martial arts. Surprisngly, the black dude actually survives through the whole movie, something which I think is a first for a film like this, where the plucky black sidekick is usually snuffed during the second reel so that the hero can do his big Oscar-audition scene and then head off to get revenge.

Getting back on track, American Ninja is full of more cheese than a Juicy Lucy, but it's the kind of "bad but still good" sort of stuff that makes for perfect fodder for watching when you're kicking back with a few beverages. There's tons of action scenes that use just about every ninja weapon imaginable, and even some that you wouldn't fathom a ninja using, like flamethrowers and lasers. That's right, I said lasers. If you can't get behind the idea of laser-toting ninjas, then American Ninja probably isn't the right movie for you. But if you have a soft spot for timeless corny antics wrapped up in snappy black suits, give this movie a try.

RATING: 7

...or, alternatively, 3 and a half out of 5 beers, which is about the right amount you should consume to make the viewing experience enjoyable.