The Machine Girl
2008; directed by Noboru Iguchi

When you have a movie with a cute lady dressed up in a schoolgirl uniform unleashing vengeance via a chaingun attached to her arm, which ends up generating more severed limbs and blood geysers this side of a GWAR concert, you're going to end up with something that's going to make internet fanboys stand at attention. While this particular reviewer thinks that The Machine Girl has ultimately been a bit over-rated by many people, it's still a bloody good time that should satisfy fans of exploitation cinema.

The Machine Girl's plot is dead simple. Minase Yashiro plays Ami, who begins seeking revenge on the local Yakuza gang after one of them kills her little brother. The twist here is that Ami employs a chaingun attached to the stump of her severed arm, and the Yakuza she encounters are not just killed, but decimated. The Machine Girl employs all sorts of fatalities designed to make the gore hounds out here smile with glee. Whether you're looking for decapitations, eviscerations, bludgeoning, quartering, stabbing, skewering, or good old-fashioned shooting, this movie has you covered.

While the manic bloodshed initially hooks you in, frankly, after a while, it gets a little bland. It seems strange to call something where a guy is literally cut in half starting at the crotch with a chainsaw bland, but after seeing similar death scenes for ninety minutes, it all starts to blend together. A lot of the ultra-violence isn't really all that inventive, and when you factor in just how fake the gore effects look, the film comes off more of a contest as to just how many gallons of fruit punch Kool-Aid looking fake blood can be shot out, versus an experiment in true visceral thrills.

Perhaps I was putting bit bit too much thought into the proceedings. But as a seasoned NC17/CAT III/exploitation viewer, I've seen quite a few films in the genre, so my particular bar is set pretty high. Ultimately, though, even with The Machine Girl's somewhat lackadaisical attitude and sloppy film-making, it does end up being a fun movie, especially if you just turn your brain off and let yourself go along for the ride. At the very least, it delivers something a lot more palatable than the PG13 level of "shocks" most other modern films seem intent in pumping to viewer's eyeballs. Like it or hate it, The Machine Girl is certainly a film that'll stick with you long after you've hit the stop button.

RATING: 7