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Police Woman
Thrown onto cheap SLP VHS tapes and DVDs and retitled Rumble in Hong Kong to try and take advantage of Jackie Chan's success in the US after the premiere of Rumble in the Bronx, Police Woman is an exercise in tedium that even the toughest of viewers weaned on cheeseball old-school movies might not be able to survive without resorting to a handful of asprin, a six-pack of very strong beer, and/or frequent use of the fast-forward button. Despite Chan's top billing on many versions of the film, he only has a small role onscreen. Sporting butterfly collars, bell-bottoms, and a huge fake hairy mole on his face, Chan plays a henchman to a drug runner (Chiang Nan) who is being pursued by a female police officer named Ho (Yuen Qiu). But, actually, most of the movie centers on Chin Chen (played by Taiwanese "weepie" favorite Charlie Chin), a cab driver who is pulled into the fold when Ho's sister leaves a mysterious purse in his taxi before dying. Yes, it's all very compelling stuff, and with the leaden weight of the dubbing, the story is delivered with all the subtlety of a kick to the groin. There is really nothing of value to the potential viewer here. Die-hard Jackie Chan completists might think it might be worth checking this out to see one of his rare villainous roles. Really, though, Chan's screen time is so slim that his factor in the movie's plot development becomes almost null. This was one of Chan's first cracks at being an action director, but, it's not really worth sitting through the dreck that are the exposition scenes in this movie to see a few minutes worth of semi-decent fighting. Overall, Police Woman is just simply the sort of movie that gives old-school kung fu flicks a bad name. It looks cheap, the acting is poor, the fights really aren't anything special, and, most damningly, the film is just boring as hell to slog through. Even with Chan's name attached to this project, being able to actually sit through this picture in one sitting -- much less actually enjoying it and thinking you just made good use of your time by dedicating eighty minutes of your life to watching this -- is a bit of a Herculean task that only the more masochistic viewers out there will be able to pull off. RATING: 2 |