Transporter 3
2008; directed by Olivier Megaton

Everyone's favorite follically-challenged action hero, Jason Statham, returns to the role of Frank Martin for this, the third installment in the semi-popular Transporter series. This time out, Frank is charged with "shipping" a young woman, Valentina (Natalya Rudakova) -- which doesn't seem all that tough until you figure in the explosives wired into a bracelet Frank wears that will explode if he gets too far from his ride.

The plot's gimmick and manic pacing recall another Statham film, Crank -- and that's not a bad thing in this reviewer's humble opinion, as that movie was a fun (if completely brainless) action flick. And when Transporter 3 keeps the adrenaline flowing, it accomplishes what it sets out to do in providing some good dopey fun. Probably the epitome of this is a segment where Frank's car is stolen, and so he must give chase on a BMX bike. It's wholly unbeliveable and more than a bit over-the-top, but it is genuinely entertaining.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for the exposition scenes, which grind the film's momentum to a halt. Sure, one doesn't expect snappy Mamet-esque banter from a Transporter movie, but the dialogue here is so clunky that you just want the characters to shut up and drive and/or fight, especially Natalya Rudakova, who is one of the worst actresses I've ever seen outside of a Cynthia Rothrock B-movie. When she gets punched near the end of the film, eveyone in the theatre (all ten of them) cheered. Note to directors everywhere: that's not really a good emotion for one of your leads to generate, even in a popcorn action movie.

Transporter 3's original subtitle was "Final Delivery", which is fitting, since it does seem like this franchise might be running out of gas. Corey Yuen's action scenes -- good in parts as they may be -- seem content to let Bourne-style editing do all the work, and Jason Statham himself seems bored during much of the festivities. Die-hard fans of the first two films might want ot make the effort to head the theatre to check this out, but, frankly, you're probably better off just waiting for this to hit DVD or cable, or perhaps just waiting for Crank 2 to see our boy Jason deliver some ultra-violence with the panche we've become accustomed to.

RATING: 6