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Cop Shop Babes
2001; directed by Aman Chang

After about five minutes into Cop Shop Babes, I had to hit a beer. After fifteen, I had to hit Jagermeister. And after a half-hour, I wanted to hit myself in the head for even wasting a spot in my Netflix queue for this. Cop Shop Babes is simply dreadful from beginning to end. It's the sort of movie that continually makes you question why exactly you're watching it.

I usually give some sort of plot synopsis in reviews, but to be honest, why bother here? There's a group of good-looking but stupid female cops -- yes, they actually call themselves "The Cop Shop Babes". There's Jerry Lamb and Eason Chan making asses of themselves as the squad's lone male members. There's Wong Jing hamming it up as a bomb-defusing woman-biting mental paitent. There's Carina Lau wondering why the hell she's here. And then we have a female eqivalent of Michael Wong in the world of cheesy gweilo actors with the lovely but talentless Cathy Tsui.

Basically, this is a stew of cinematic chum whose stench you won't soon get rid of, if you have the unfortunate circumstance of being an idiot like me and actually watching the whole damn thing. Producing this sort of movie isn't rocket science -- show good-looking women kicking ass -- but there's some directors that are so inept, they can't pull off that simple formula. Aman Chang is definitely one of those guys. From Raped by an Angel 2 to Body Weapon, Chang had a several year period where he pelted Hong Kong theatre screens with his own brand of rotten tomatoes on a regular basis.

Thankfully, for the sanity of movie-goers everywhere, Chang seems to have left the industry as of 2003, leaving a trail of charred celluloid corpses behind the likes of which have not been seen since Uwe Boll's video game movie tear a couple of years ago. But whereas Boll's turds have now become late-night after-bar fodder for the Mystery Science Theatre set, Cop Shop Babes was dead on arrival back in 2001 and is beyond putrid now.

RATING: 2

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