video cover

video cover

Baby Vampire Vs. The Invincible Shaolin Kung Fu Devil Gang
(aka Shaolin Vs. Vampire)
1988; directed by Gordon Liu

Touted as a "lost martial arts classic" on the cover of Rarescope's budget DVD -- which sports the retitle of Shaolin Vs. Vampire -- Baby Vampire Vs. The Invincible Shaolin Kung Fu Devil Gang is really anything but a classic. Little seems to actually be known about this movie. Even the release year is in question, which is listed from anywhere from 1980 to 1988 from different sources. This does seem to be a Hong Kong/Japanese co-production directed by Gordon Liu intended for the Japanese market, who were just as big fans of the "hopping vampire" genre as their Chinese counterparts. The obvious low budget and the fact that this was shot on video indicates that this made for television or the direct to video market.

At any rate, even with no knowledge of the actual production details, from the first few minutes, it becomes painfully clear that Baby Vampire is a sub-par picture of the lowest order. Gordon Liu plays Daiyu, a stuntman who is his town's lone holdout in not believing in vampires. All of that changes when his annoying brat of a daughter find an equally annoying chubby vampire kid and "adopts" him. The film-makers intended for comedy to ensue and kung fu to splash across the screen as Daiyu fights to save his village from the actions of an evil necromantic Taoist priest. But all the audience gets to experience is mild ennui and sharp boredom for the next ninety or so minutes.

Baby Vampire Vs. The Invincible Shaolin Kung Fu Devil Gang

There is very little, if anything, of redeeming value to be found here. Baby Vampire isn't even the sort of picture that's fodder to make fun of after ingesting a few beers, because at most times, there's nothing going on -- unless your idea of action is watching two moppets screeching at each other while sugary badly-translated J-pop songs play in the background. Business does pick up near the end. Perhaps not coincidentally punctuated by the kidnapping (and subsequent shrinking of screen time) for the two terrible tots, there is a set of decent fights towards the finale that show what this movie could be if the film-makers had exercised any sort of effort towards improving the quality of their end product.

Even if you're like this particular grizzled reviewer and have slummed across the mossy bottom of the barrel of Hong Kong Z-list movies for years, Baby Vampire Vs. The Invincible Shaolin Kung Fu Devil Gang is a chore to sit through. I was shocked when I saw a couple of positive reviews of this movie floating about the ether of the internet, because in my opinion, this is total dreck from beginning to end, and for Rarescope to label this albatross as a "lost martial arts classic" shows that their staff is made out of barely literate mouth-breathers or have huge brass balls -- maybe a bit of both. All but the most diehard Gordon Liu fans are going to feel like they wasted ninety minutes of their life after watching this, and even those people will still probably feel some twinge of disappointment that one of their onscreen heroes lowered himself to appear in something as inept as this.

RATING: 3

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