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Ninja Terminator
(aka Silver Fox and Ninja Terminator)
1985; directed by Godfrey Ho

Schlockmeister Godfrey Ho's 1985 entry into the Z-list movie hall of shame Ninja Terminator is the sort of film that is so bafflingly put together that one has to question if it could be considered an actual motion picture, yet ends up to be mesmerizing in the sense of a cinematic train wreck that you can't help but keep watching despite the carnage.

Ninja Terminator

The carnage in question consists of prime slices of cheese like Garfield phones, camouflage ninja suits, toy robots used as messengers of death, and Hwang Jang Lee buried underneath a drag queen's used blonde wig. As for the plot? Like many of Ho's films, this is a cut-and-paste effort, with half of the footage coming from the 1984 Korean production The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry, and the other quotient (the elements Ho actually filmed) featuring former giallo star Richard Harrison, all wrapped under the guise of a group of mostly caucasian ninjas trying to find a magical statue known as the Golden Ninja Warrior.

Vanquisher

As far as Godfrey Ho's efforts go, Ninja Terminator isn't all that bad, and is actually quite enjoyable at times. That might not be saying much, considering Ho's track record has given us bottom of the barrel dreck like Catman in Lethal Track and Ninja in the Killing Fields, but this movie at least won't have you reaching for a bottle of Excedrin and your finger itching to hit the fast-forward button, especially if you're armed with a few cold beverages and are in the mood for pulling your best Mystery Science Theatre impression with a couple of buddies.

Ninja Terminator

Part of the reason that Ninja Terminator elevates itself above most of Ho's other films is that the footage he lifted from The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry is surprisingly good. Mind you, it's not top-tier stuff, or even close to it, but there's some solid action offered, especially during the final fight, where Hwang Jang Lee thankfully ditches the blonde wig and then shows why he's known as a "bootmaster". Maybe Godfrey Ho shold have just released the Korean movie on its' own, but then the world wouldn't have been granted the privilege of seeing some of the most bizarre footage released under the guise of a martial arts movie ever.

RATING: 5

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