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The Super Ninja
(aka Killer Ninja, Killers Invincible)
1984; directed by James Wu

In the mid-1980's, in order to satisfy the needs of kids sitting at home with empty VCRs, there was a wealth of movies released that revolved around ninjas. One of the mainstays of this sub-genre was Alexander Lo Rei, who portrayed one of the cloaked assassins in around a dozen pictures, most of them coming from the low-budget studio Filmark International and B-list producer Tomas Tang. 1984's The Super Ninja fits right in with most of Lo Rei's other ninja movies, in that it's incredibly cheesy, but still offers some good no-brain fun.

The Super Ninja    The Super Ninja

The cheesiness begins with the plot. The fabulously feathered mulleted Lo Rei plays Johnny, a Hong Konger who travels to Japan to learn ninjitsu so that he can travel to America to become a cop. What the hell? Anyway, John's father-in-law has developed a drug that will cure cocaine addiction, which raises the ire of the drug-running Five Element Ninjas. No, these aren't the super-cool ones featured in Chang Cheh's classic release of the same name. These are the type of ninjas that are swaddled in gold lame outfits and bring springboards around so they can jump over walls. Again, we have a what the hell moment here. Aren't ninjas supposed to be, you know, stealthy?

The Super Ninja    The Super Ninja

Anyway, Johnny's boss in the NYPD -- at least I think the movie is supposed to be set in New York City judging by the stock footage used, even though the license plates on any cars shown are obviously from Asia -- is a racist dick towards Johnny and his black partner (fellow ninja movie favorite Eugene Thomas) and sets him up as a pusher to get him off of the trail of the ninjas. Even though I think there was supposed to be a message against racism here, the poor man's Superfly dubbing for Eugene ticks off every stereotype in the Bojangles playbook. At any rate, after Johnny's girlfriend is kidnapped, he takes all of the lessons his sifu taught him and goes out for revenge.

The Super Ninja    The Super Ninja

As you might expect, it's these jaunts down the bloody (or, rather, in this case ketchup-filled) path of retribution that transform The Super Ninja from something paddling around the rancid muck lining the pits of Z-movie hell into something resembling good old fashioned cheese blasting low-brow entertainment. Like the cinematic equivalent of the misplaced late night trip to the seafood station at the buffet held in your local bingo hall, checking this movie and its plastic shuriken-stuck shenanigans out will satisfy some strange and unnatural urge, at least long enough to forget that you ever had to need it to fill that hole in the first place.

RATING: 5

This movie is available from Amazon.

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