Ninja Assassin
2009; directed by James McTeigue

In the US, Thanksgiving is a time for turkey, football, and ninjas -- at least according to Warner Bros, who have unleashed Ninja Assassin upon audiences during this holiday. Calling back to the "classics" of the Cannon Films output in the 1980's, the story here is non-existent and the acting is wooden at best. But there's tons of bloody ninja action to keep you happy.

Korean pop star Rain (yes, just Rain) plays Raizo, an orphan who is taken in by Ozunu (Sho Kosugi, the film's only bright spot acting-wise) and trained to be... wait for it... a ninja assassin. Which is better than a ninja chef or ninja delivery boy, I guess. Anyway, Raizo's love interest is killed by Ozunu, and so he goes on the run, becoming an independent contractor. Raizo is very good at his job, which begins to attract the attention of Interpol, and so he must keep both them and his former comrades at bay while trying to get revenge on Ozunu.

The fact that it took two people to come up with the script for Ninja Assassin is surprising, because it literally follows each and every action movie cliche in the book, down to Raizo having a black sidekick/love interest whose injury inspires him to pour it on for the final fight. In his second time in the director's chair, James McTeigue displays a workman-like competency in the areas of mise-en-scene and pacing, which makes the film work well enough, but there's nothing presented here which would set Ninja Assassin from a dozen similar films produced two decades ago.

Things are saved from becoming a total bore-fest via the action. Helmed by an international team, the fight scenes unfortunately fall prey to pitfalls present in western productions, most notably editing that moves a bit too quickly for the action's good. And also, enough with the CGI blood, already. It's a gimmick whose time has come and gone, and really needs to be retired out to the special effects playbook. Overall, though, even with the movie's problems, Ninja Assassin is decent enough entertainment, especially while in the haze of a tryptophan coma. Even if you don't feel like heading to the theatre to check this out, it'll be worth sitting down to watch it when it eventually lands in its' natural habitat of 3 AM on TBS.

RATING: 6